Relationships are hard. When you consider how hard it already is living with your siblings, imagine how much harder it would be to live with someone you’ve known for a few months or years. Not a walk in the park I would say. There are many challenges to making a relationship work, which I will not talk about now, but when you throw in suspicion of cheating, it just becomes a hot mess. Most of us have had our fair share of unfaithfulness, whether we were offended or were the offending party. It might not be obvious to some people but there are some subtle signs you can look out for in a partner that are sure-fire signs that there’s something else going on in the background.
Granted that these are not 100% efficient since some people have adopted a certain kind of lifestyle and aren’t necessarily cheating, they’re still worth noting for the next time your gut sounds an alarm.
Here are 10 signs that your partner may be cheating on you:
- Protective with their devices.
This one has to be a wildly obvious one. You have to be careful, however, some people are naturally protective of their devices and aren’t comfortable with anyone accessing them without permission. You’ll need to monitor your partner’s behaviour with their devices from the word go and see how defensive they are so that you can spot any new trends. What you want to watch out for is whether they sometimes go outside to talk on the phone, they always put their phone screen facing down whenever you’re in the room, the phone’s always on silent, they’re actively not letting you know their passwords and of course, being a little fidgety whenever you handle their devices; even if it’s for an innocent reason such as taking a photo.
- Being unreachable without a good reason or flimsy reasons
When partners are cheating, they’ll most likely have their devices turned off or on silent. Some would be bold enough to tell you that they’re at work when they’re not but when you show up there, they tell you that they’ve had to go elsewhere. For those who keep dodging your confrontation with the, ‘I was at a meeting’, it might work for a few weeks but even then, the act is going to wane and you’ll soon realise the truth about these ‘meetings’.
You could also look out for when they suddenly start being unavailable during time slots when you knew for sure that they would be reachable. When you date someone long enough, you’re going to learn their schedule by heart. If their reasons don’t hold water, there’s something else going on in the background.
- Changes in sexual activity
This should be one of the more notable and prominent signs for most people. Men, especially, will not be interested in getting intimate if they’ve already received satisfaction from another third party. If you used to have even normal boring sex, and it’s disappearing almost suddenly, time to pause and ask questions.
There could also be a situation where they increase the levels of intimacy. This could be attributed to them trying to overcompensate and cover their tracks by being more romantic to you so that they could hide all suspicion. Any sudden changes in intimacy should almost always be taken with a grain of salt since most sustainable changes in relationships, and life in general, don’t come overnight but after months of work and effort.
- Sudden habit changes:
Is your partner all of a sudden very cautious of the kind of clothing they’re wearing, how they groom themselves. Did they just shave that beard that they’ve been maintaining for a few months? These are all suspicious behaviours. If you know your partner well enough, you’ll always notice the small things that they always do. If all of a sudden, they’re trying to do away with the said habit without any solid reason, that’s a cause for alarm.
Another sign could be, they’re no longer interested in engaging with you. They’re comfortable with whatever you cook, whatever you wear, wherever you want to go and so on and so forth.
Always lookout for the small changes in habits, this is where the gold usually is. It won’t always be easy to spot, but when you do, you can bet something’s going on.
- Projecting your suspicions on you
It’s always funny that sometimes, guilty people will try and project you as the guilty one. This could be that they accuse you of cheating or are starting to act as if they’re insecure about you cheating, whether subtly or outright. Whenever you raise your concerns about them cheating, they counter it by turning on you and how you would be the more likely candidate to cheat. If you’re certain that you’ve been faithful and that you’ve not given them any reason to be suspicious, think about it.
- Changes in technology use
Technology has changed the way we do things. Nowadays almost everything is set to back up automatically due to the availability of free, cheap and accessible internet in most places and cheap cloud storage. If your partner changes their backup schedule or switches it off altogether, secretively, there’s reason to be suspicious.
For example, Google Photos usually backs up automatically. If you’ve linked your accounts, their clandestine photos might accidentally back up to the shared account and expose the affair.
You should also make a habit of investigating for any hidden files and folders on home devices. It’s effortless to do this, just do a quick Google search, you’ll find out how. These could be the places where they’re storing secret photos that won’t automatically show up on the desktop search and aren’t backed up to the cloud.
- Changes in friends’ habits
Whether you like it or not, your partner’s friends may have known your partner longer than you have. They’ve been with them through a lot and they will be there when your partner is cheating on you. It’s even possible that some of your friends could know about it long before you do. Typically, you’re usually the last to know when your partner is cheating.
If you suspect your partner is cheating, corner some of their friends and see if their stories align.
Also, watch out for body language. If you’re good at reading that kind of thing, you’ll instantly be able to tell whenever someone is lying and whether or not you’ll get any details from them.
These are some pretty solid reasons that your partner is cheating, however, your partner may display some or all of these signs and still not be cheating. Even though they’re not cheating, it could be a sign of deeper underlying problems with them or your relationship that need to be addressed.
As usual, note that I’m not a professional in this field. This information is based on my own subjective research. It is very reliable, but it’s not professional, therefore, follow it judiciously.
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