Do you believe in curses? I’m not sure that I do. Sometimes the idea creeps so far into my head that I know I really am cursed while other times the idea seems so distant that even considering the possibility seems laughable.
Life has a funny way of honouring and humbling us in equal measure. Most of us normally lean on one side more than the other. Those who lean on honour more, I salute you. It’s not by anyone’s will to be on one side or the other. These are just the kind of things that happen with no known cause, purpose or reason. There is no reason for all the suffering in the world and there is no possibility for the end of this suffering in the near future. The pain and suffering of the world are inescapable and unending. Instead of trying to eradicate it, our time would be better spent trying to learn how to live with it.
I don’t like thinking that I’m the only one suffering. There is no shortage of reasons to think this way, but I still like to steer clear of the idea. Why me? That’s a foolish question, in my opinion. Asking this question implies that you are the only one suffering. To some extent, it can be considered foolish and conceited to think that life has a hidden agenda against you. You’re not that important. No one is that important. Life, the universe and any other grand power that be could not care less about your plight.
In spite of this knowledge, I still find myself wondering. Is it possible that there are people who were born into a line of tragedy and bad luck? Am I one of those people? Is it even a line? Or does tragedy and bad luck fall around us like rain? Falling on those who are deserving and undeserving in equal measure. Falling on some more than others and sometimes not falling at all, even when you’re very sure that it was coming. I don’t know. Up to this point, my life has felt like a series of tragedies, mishappenings & bad luck with only a few drops of good luck here and there. I look at the events in my life and wonder if there are some strings in the background pulling things against me. It seems like the odds are never in my favour. Is it even possible for the odds to conspire against one single person or a group of people? For my life, and many others, up to this point, it has most certainly felt that way. Even Science argues that for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction, but most times, I would perform an action and there would be no reaction at all or the reaction would come about in a way that doesn’t really look like a reaction at all. You plant your crop and reap after a few months, you work out and build muscle, you push something and it moves. You jump from the earth, and if you measure finely enough, you’ll find that the earth moves away from you ever so slightly.
Reading that sentence, it does actually feel a little bit conceited. It seems so far fetched for life and the universe to focus specifically on one person. Perhaps all the things that I’m complaining about are like jumping from the earth. There is a reaction but it’s not something that looks like a reaction at all. We think we’re so special and that the world revolves around us, but we’re not. Even the earth is not the centre of the solar system, the solar system is not the centre of the milky way, the milky way is not the centre of the universe and, who knows, the universe might not even be the centre of anything at all. I don’t think there’s any special force or circumstance working for or against us. There’s not much we can do to reduce the pain and suffering of life. Perhaps the only thing we can do is to learn to live with it, to bear it, to come to terms with the fact that there will be times that life will test us to the limit. Sometimes, those tests will amount to something and propel you to some other state, but most times, they will do nothing for you. During these times, you need to remember that it’s not only you. So don’t ask, why me?